This Is Me Loving You With Everything I Have
By Liane White
This is me taking a leap of faith and allowing myself to fall for you.
I’m letting go of all my overthinking and worrying tendencies about how this could go terribly wrong. I’m leaving all my old restricted belief behind that I don’t deserve happiness. I’m banishing the ghost of my past by choosing to live fully in the present with you.
It’s not going to be easy at first for you see; my heart had been badly bruised in the past. Love was broken promises, tears wasted on the heartless, and unresolved closures. Forever was a lie uttered only in the temporary moment, as love wasn’t able to outlive the inevitable ending. The aftermath consisted of me basically doing everything I can to heal the remnant of my aching heart believing bitterly that if love was this painful, I rather not loved at all.
Following those heartbreaking experiences, I was shocked to my core and my perspective on love changed for good. All my naïve illusions flee and I was a different person. I became more cautious and weary, anticipating ending instead of beginning, and fearing the uncertainty instead of embracing the present. I was obsessed with protecting my heart instead of living my authentic truth. I was not myself.
But for you, I will continue trying.
This is me choosing to love you knowing that love is a risk yet you’re worth every bit of it because you’re the right one for me.
I promise I won’t dismiss the idea of us by rejecting you and silencing the tiny flare hope inside me. I won’t diminish our chance together by playing any games with you just to avoid me getting hurt. I won’t extinguish the sweet blossoming of our beginning by closing myself off to any possibility of love. I won’t ignore the fact that I’m in love with you and I’m willing to risk it all to be with you.
You make love seem effortless. With you, I never have to think twice or second-guess myself. I can just text you or call you anytime I want without worrying that I’m being clingy. I can tell you I miss you, or I love you without feeling my heart is going to explode out of my chest terrified you won’t feel the same way because you do. I can be myself and embrace fully my crazy and weird sides because you accept and love me even for the parts that I deem unlovable.
I know I can never find another like you who make me laugh endlessly and bring me an infinite amount of joy each day. You teach me how beautiful and selfless love is and you show me unfalteringly how much you care for me. You love me without any condition and hesitation, and you give me nothing but the best.
This is me loving you every single day of my life because life wouldn’t be the same without you.
I will remind myself that the right love will last and stay with me even if the going gets tough. I will renounce my fears, as it’s finally my time to receive the love I deserve. I will reassure myself that I have you who will face life’s greatest challenges with me and we will beat the odds together.
Of all the people I met, you’re the one who stays. Of all the loves I had, you’re the one I believe in. Of all the words I’ve said, the best must be ‘I love you’ to you.
You are my love and hand in hand, we shall face our days ahead together.