This Is The Difference Between Falling In Love And Staying In Love


You’re not in love with him. At least, not yet. I bet you’ll probably argue that you’ve never felt this way before, that this is a different kind of high, that there is some alien powerful force stronger than gravity attracting you towards him and if this is not love, then what is?

Well, if there is one or two things I learned about love and life, it’s that love is not a feeling. Sure, there’s an emotional aspect to it but it’s certainly more than that. Love is not something you fall into. Rather, love is something you choose to do – it’s the willful decision to love and still love despite and in spite.

Think about it. Falling in love and being in love, though they might seem the same, are actually two very different things. Falling in love is fleeting. You have no control over it. It just happens. It’s the stuff puppy love stories are made of. On the other hand, being in love takes discipline, courage, and consistency.

You choose to be in love. You choose to stay in love. You choose to love.

And you deliberately make this choice every single day – from the moment you wake up in the morning to just before you sleep at night. It’s a risk you have to take over and over again. It’s something that lasts if you will it to.

What you’re feeling now, dear child, isn’t love but it could potentially be if you give it more time to grow and foster a space for it to develop. Perhaps right now, what you feel is hope. Hope that this is more than just a spur in the moment kind of thing. Hope that maybe this is something lasting. Hope that he would nurture this hope so it would soon bear the fruits of love.

You’re not in love with him. No, not yet. For now, you’re in hope with him.

Hope that he feels the same way.