This Is What Healing Really Is, Because It’s Not Just About Moving On

Healing takes time. It’s waking up everyday with the same heartache over the same reasons. Each day you’ll feel weaker as you push through the pain, but trust me when I say that every day you wake up, get up and push yourself to work, you’re getting stronger than what you give yourself credit for. Some days may be better than others, but be patient with yourself on days when life seems so hard.

It’s okay to be sad. But the thing about sadness is that it’s addictive. And you cannot heal in an environment that keeps you from getting better. You cannot dive deep into loneliness, self-pity, grudges, and other unresolved issues and expect to find healing as you go deeper. Healing is swimming up despite the pressure that’s pushing you down, despite the negative voices in your head that keep you in the same place. Healing is a choice you make between staying on the ground where you fell or picking yourself back up.

We all need healing at some point in our lives—be it over a failed relationship, broken friendships, unsuccessful careers, illnesses, or any other issue. The world breaks you so you can rebuild yourself to be stronger, wiser and more resilient than the person you were before. Healing makes you a better version of yourself. I don’t believe that it takes you back to the person you were before you needed healing, because when something breaks you, you’re never the same. There’s no point in wishing for a life without pain. Nobody grows in a place of comfort.

Healing requires a lot. It requires you to be patient, kind, to put in effort, to believe in yourself, and to cut off ties from all the things and people that broke you in the first place. It requires you to love yourself most, especially during the weak moments. It requires you to sit with your thoughts and delve into even the darkest parts of your mind. You cannot fully heal if you don’t face your own demons in its skull-sized hell. Denial is not a form of healing. Acceptance is.

Healing empowers you. It makes you stronger, braver, and more sure of yourself. Healing is not going to war and coming out unshaken. It’s moving forward despite the bruises and scars. Healing is accepting what was, forgiving yourself for what you lost, appreciating what is, and being ready for what’s yet to come. Healing is acknowledging what was gone and making peace with your past.

Healing is something that no one else but yourself can do. You can seek help, but no one can save you but yourself. Yes, your family and friends are there to support you, but they’re not going to pick up the broken pieces. You are. In life, when something’s not right, you take action to solve it. Stressing over problems won’t solve them. Additionally, we all have different lives with different sets of problems, achievements, and regrets. So, don’t compare yourself to others for the time it takes you to heal. The process is not easy. It leaves scars, but it cures you of your trauma and anxieties. It’s a long journey. But one day, you’ll wake up and not even realize that what broke you isn’t what occupies your head anymore. And everything will be just fine.