This Is What Living Together Means Because It’s Not Just Movie Nights And 24/7 Sex

Living together means seeing every single side of each other. When they are upset and crying. When they are pissed off and yelling. When they are moody and complaining. When they are drunk and sloppy. When they are sick and snotty. When they are happy and talkative. When they are disappointed and moping. You’ll get to know them better than they know themselves.

Living together means learning to forgive each other over the little, meaningless things you won’t even remember you were angry about tomorrow. There is nowhere to hide and decompress when you are upset, which means when you are in a bad mood, you might accidentally take it out on your person. At the very least, they will be the one around to hear your complaints, which means in the morning you might have some apologizing to do.

Living together means putting in effort even when you aren’t in the mood, when you would rather climb into bed and fall asleep. Back when you were alone, you could disappear into your room and ignore texts and responsibilities. But now that you’re with your person, you need to be there for them. You need to help them when they call. You need to cover one half of whatever the hell needs to get done that day.

Living together means planning for the both of you. If you make yourself lunch, you should probably make them something too. If you pick up fast food on your way home, you should probably ask if they want any before coming home empty-handed. You cannot only look out for yourself. You have to think for the both of you now.

Living together means making decisions together. You cannot change the paint in your bedroom or buy a new dining room set without consulting the other person. You have to ask them first. You have to make sure they agree with your choices because their opinion matters as much as yours does. You have to act as a team. You have to come to a conclusion together instead of acting impulsively when you want something new. You have to remember the space is ours, not mine.

Living together means you have to share everything. Your bathroom. Your bedroom. Your car. Your sweatshirts. Unless you have an office or a man cave that is meant exclusively for you, then your person is allowed to enter at any moment, even when you were planning on enjoying quiet, alone time. They have a right to be there as much as you do, so you cannot behave selfishly like when you were living alone. You have to make room for them. You have to leave enough space to share.

Living together means making your schedule more flexible. If your person comes home late, then you have to adjust when you’re eating. If your person is sick with the flu and keeps you up all night, you have to deal with missing out on hours of sleep you were hoping to get. You have to deal with problems together. You have to exist together.

Living together means committing to each other. It means being there for each other. It means you are expecting to spend a long time with each other — maybe even forever.