This Is Why I Hate Snapchat


Snapchat was created so narcissists can be choosy about who they want to love them as much as they love themselves.


“If you have a problem with Snapchat then why do you use it bro?”  Well, dick, I do get some enjoyment out of it.  Some of my “friends” on the app actually send hilarious stuff on occasion.  This certainly is a positive use of it; one of the only acceptable uses in my eyes.


Are you having sex and feeling the urge to capture it on video?  Send me that.  Is a woman’s entire butt hanging out of her children’s gym shorts at Wal-Mart?  Definitely let me in on that hilarity.  Are low-income families causing a stir in Dollar Tree?  Keep me in the know.  For the love of God don’t send me a picture of you with your tongue out accompanied by the caption “Pre-Workout Swag!”


This is where the issue arises.  Many of the girls on my Snapchat friends list solely use the app as a channel to send selfies and worthless videos of their friends talking or acting goofy.  “Erica talkin about boys! lol!!”  I gained nothing from that clip except the awareness you’re a 21-year old child.  The video of you moving your head to the beat of a terrible song in the car was also incredibly unnecessary.


I’ll have you know it’s not simply the ladies of Snapchat who disturb me.  Let’s analyze the typical snapchats guys post as their “My Story.”  Holding a beer!  Smokin’ some weed!  Listening to rap music with my friends who dress like they’re at a country club!  That pretty much sums it up.  Hey, easy with the photos of you holding beer cans, bud!  I’m beginning to think you’re too cool to be associating with the likes of me.


These types of scenarios have led me to rethink myself and my own priorities.  Are these the people I surround myself with?  Is this the kind of shit I endorse?  I’m desperately hoping readers can relate to this and inform me, “No you’re not the only one who sees this nonsense on a daily basis.  My fellow snapchatters are just as awful.”


There’s no debating Snapchat has revolutionized the sexting game, though.  Use the hell out of it for your cumming purposes.  Also use it when you want to entertain.  I love to laugh, which is the main reason I’ve continued using the steaming pile of cat turds we call “Snapchat.”  Aiming to bring some joy should be the primary intention of snapping.  Skip the “View from my balcony” bullshit.  I’m in bed watching season 3 of Saved By The Bell.  As sad as it is I’m enjoying it and I won’t envy you, which I’m aware is your main motive.


I’m nobody to say you shouldn’t do what you want to do.  If you’re one of the “Look how attractive I am today” girls, by all means continue.  If you’re the “Look how lavishly I’m living, my life is so awesome” guy, go ahead and do your thing.  I’m sure your consistency will one day earn you a spot on the Snapchat All-Star team.