This Man Got His Penis Stuck In A Weight At A Local Gym And I’m So Fucking Done With 2017

If I had to write a list of things to do at a gym, I could definitely, 100% tell you that sticking any of my body parts anywhere in any of the equipment is at the bottom of the list. Maybe it’s just because I hate the gym and I am a cynic among cynics, but there is very little you could do that could convince me otherwise.

So, why the fuck did this dude who stuck his penis inside a weight not get the memo?

An unnamed man in Worms, Germany had to patiently wait as fireman assisted him in freeing himself from the hole of a 5.5 pound weight that he just so happened to get his dick stuck in. After three hours and the help of a grinder and a hydraulic saw, the man was finally free — yet here I am, hours later, still trapped with the mental image in my head.

Here’s the fire department’s photo of the broken weight. What a shame.

And y’all call women crazy and emotionally unstable?????

Okay, dudes, hear me out: you know how they say, “Don’t stick your dick in crazy?” Maybe you should alter that saying a bit: “Don’t stick your dick in community exercise equipment.” Please and thank you.”