This Summer, You Were Mine


I liked the idea of having my summer months be consumed by you, by this, by us.

It was the kind of summer you see in the movies. The kind of love you can only ever dream about, and the kind of heartbreak you can’t ever imagine.

We jumped in knowing that we had an expiration date, knowing how things would end and somehow we still weren’t prepared.

We drove around for hours the night before trying to stall for time, avoiding our inevitable fate. I was holding onto you so tight I was sure your hand was going to fall off.

I was sure you’d ask me to stop squeezing it so hard, but you didn’t, so I just squeezed harder. I was scared to let go and you knew that.

I convinced myself that I shouldn’t think about it. I had wanted this. I had agreed to this.

I fell madly in love with someone that I knew I had no future with, I wouldn’t need to push you away because we both knew that things would end. I liked the idea of having no real commitment, of knowing that it could never possibly get too serious.

I never pictured how it would play out, and I never thought that things would work out the way they did. I didn’t prepare for the level of infatuation that would soon take over my life.

Yet part of us dreaded it, part of us knew that as each day ended our time grew shorter. 1,100 miles just wasn’t something we could overlook.

I knew I’d miss you. I knew that I would now compare every guy to you, I knew that I’d be replaying our moments in my head for quite some time.

Goodbye was goodbye. It had to be because anything else would simply hurt too much. Goodbye would be a “thanks for all the fun we had but now it’s done” kind of goodbye.

I’d gotten what I wanted.

Shouldn’t I be happy? Hadn’t I mentally prepared for this moment?

You didn’t say anything. We both knew that nothing we said could possibly change the circumstances.

Our summer love wouldn’t survive to see the leaves turn an autumn hue. Our summer of passion wouldn’t survive another day past August 14th, There’d be no more you and me, no more lazy cuddle dates, no more pillow talk.

Goodbye would be goodbye.

Possibly one of the most difficult goodbyes I’d ever endure.

We knew that we meant the world to each other. We wish we’d had more time but life didn’t work out that way.

As we hugged goodbye I saw everything, our whole summer flashed through my head, every laugh, every kiss. This summer was my Nicholas Sparks movie, and I’ll never forget that.

The best summer of my life came to an end, but just because it’s over doesn’t mean I’ll ever forget.