Time Will Reveal If I Will Love Again


Dear first love, you have been on my mind lately. I keep remembering what it was like to love you. I keep remembering how much I cared for you. I keep remembering how alive and myself I felt through it all. It was the deepest and most genuine feeling I have ever experienced. It was truly heavenly to realize the depth of my heart and to know you.

Sometimes I felt like I was made to love you. I wanted to offer you the comfort, joy, and help you could ever need. I wanted to be all you needed. I felt that I had so much to give to you. I wanted to be your best friend before being anything else, but that has never happened, and now we are two worlds apart. It hurts me sometimes to realize that you and I were never given a chance. It hurts me to know that this love was never tested, never put into action. Sometimes I wonder if our worlds were to cross again, if we would work out this time.

If you were to ask me why I fell for you, I would tell you that at the time I was just falling harder each day without understanding why, but now I know perfectly well. It was because of your gentle and understanding nature. It was because you made me feel seen and heard. It was because of your charm. It was because of the way you made me laugh and your never ending playfulness. It was because you looked so balanced and composed. It was because you were the right amount of kind. You felt like a home to me. You felt like the answer to so many of my questions. It was because I felt a connection so strong and pure.

Years have passed, but I have not felt this way about anyone else since. Sometimes I wonder if I will feel this way ever again and if this time it will be for someone who makes it easy for me to understand if they reciprocate it. I wonder and remember you at the same time, because although you said you did not feel anything, you said that if you knew me a bit more, maybe things would have been different. However, I heard lately that you liked someone, so I guess time will reveal. I guess time will reveal if I will love again.