To All The Best Friends I Lost Along The Way

You were always the sister I never had, at least for a time in my life. I met you when I was in kindergarten, extremely shy to talk to anyone besides our teacher. I met you when I was memorizing a poem and we thought of the same mnemonics for it. I met you when I was playing the guitar and you accompanied me with your keyboard. I met you in class when we were comparing photos and realized we kind of looked the same. I met you at these mundane moments clueless that I’ll be cherishing those moments forever.

Thank you for sharing lunch and always playing with me when I was too scared to join the other kids at the playground. Thank you for making me feel at ease on my first day as a transferee. Thank you for making me feel missed when I told everyone that I might transfer to another school and you were the only who said you’ll miss me if I go. Thank you for making me feel like I belong somewhere even though we started out as enemies. Thank you for always telling me that I’m pretty. I needed those simple words of flattery when I’m being too hard on myself. Thank you for sharing with me the hobbies that I still love and enjoy to this day. I’m so happy that I experienced most of my firsts with you.

At some point in my life, you were my confidante, my partner in crime, my other half. It’s a waste that we lost touch when once upon a time, you were my walking diary. I’m sorry that your dad was transferred to another branch and you had to move to another city. I’m sorry that I was transferred to another class. I’m sorry if you found another group of friends. I’m sorry if I became close with another girl and you decided she’s a better choice of best friend for me because we have more things in common. I’m sorry that you had a huge spotlight in front of you that you also casted a great dark shadow. I just had to step out of it. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. There were a lot of things I didn’t tell you towards the end. Some are things I thought you wouldn’t understand. Some are secrets that aren’t mine to begin with. I’m sorry you misunderstood. Most of all, I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to keep you.

I’ll be forever grateful for the memories and life lessons that we shared. You will always have a special place in my heart because I believe I met you at a perfect time to teach me the perfect lesson I needed in that phase in my life. Meeting you was not an accident, and neither was parting ways with you. Sometimes, when two people grow, they have to grow apart. And I sure have a lot of growing up to do. You helped me carry my baggage which otherwise would have been unbearable if I were alone. I hope I helped you carry your own baggage, too.

I hope I fulfilled my role in your life before we parted ways. You were once my other half and you left part of yourself in me when you left. We might have lost touch, but I never truly lost you.