To Every Guy Who Is Worried About ‘Catching Feelings’: Grow The Fuck Up


For your own sake, I need you to understand something: there is nothing noble about sitting on the sidelines of life and worrying about what might happen if you are willing to risk getting hurt or seeming uncool or — god forbid — being the “one who cares more.”

If you read about what people regret in life, no one regrets trying. No one regrets the risks they took or the things they tried to make happen. People regret playing it safe. They regret being afraid. They regret taking no action because the outcome might possibly be worse than the present.

You have to be aware that this is an express train ticket to a very unchill wakeup call.

Life is very short, and it can turn on a dime. I visited a very healthy friend of mine in the hospital last week and watched her husband take care of her. It was a stone cold reminder that we are not meant to go through life alone. We are meant for the magic and the work of our relationships with other people. We are meant to love and find a way to let ourselves be impossibly loved by someone else.

So I am trying to convince you that it’s in your best interest to stop. Stop trying to be in control. Stop worrying about ‘what if’. Stop setting yourself up for the cold-hearted regrets of a person who refused to try.

Being open-minded doesn’t commit you to anything. It allows you to be rational and consider all available choices — including not making a choice and staying single until it feels right. Being open-minded isn’t making a decision or looking before you leap. All you have to do is allow yourself to be open to the possibility that this girl might just make your life better than the condition she found it in. That’s it.

I know you like being alone. I know your alone is so easy. But there are things better than easy and you’re going to lose the girl who is better than your alone if you stay so stubborn. With the right person settling down won’t feel like settling. Be open to that, for your own sake. Catching feelings might just be the best thing to ever happen to you.