To My Friends Who Continue To Love Me Through My Depression

Thank you for still seeing me behind tears, unanswered texts, and the same t-shirt for two weeks. For still calling me beautiful with my unbrushed hair and blemished skin from being too sad to take care of myself. For being the ones to take care of me.

Thank you for recognizing that my healing is not linear. My mental health journey is full of loops and twists and mountains. It’s a roller coaster and it is a carousel. Through all the rushes and lulls I am blessed to have you all to climb into the seats and strap in with me. To hold my hand through the climbs, and to scream and holler together through the drops. Thank you for becoming part of my journey so that I don’t have to take it alone.

Thank you for understanding how much I never want to medicate again. You are my medication. Pills made me feel emotionless, and you understand how much my emotions make me who I am, sad or happy. So instead, you bring me ice cream and call it the best cure. And you eat tacos with me when I can finally stomach food. You tell me, “Who needs pills when you have me to be there for you?” And I can only agree. When I feel like giving up, and feel lifeless, you are the ones who make me feel alive again.

Thank you for loving both of my faces. You love me for the kind, warm, free-spirited, open, and smiling girl that you first met. You still love me when I am the cold, closed off, silent, brooding, and anxious person that I hate. You are teaching me that both faces are me, and you’ll love me through both. You help me to realize that even when it’s hard to accept myself, everyone else loves me no matter what. So I learn to love that girl too.

Thank you for being there for me no matter what. Whether its to just lay in my bed with me while I stay silent and think to myself, or to listen while I cry and sob about why I don’t understand why I am this way. You are the definition of through thick and thin. You keep me grounded when I start to float away. When laughing is the last thing I want to do, you find a way to make me smile. And when I feel too ashamed to show my tears, you are prepared with your shoulder and a tissue box to assure me that it’s okay to let it out.

I hope you know that I feel blessed every day to have you there for me. I can’t imagine where I would be today or if I would be today if it weren’t for you. I am who I am, and I am continuing forward thanks to your support. And I will always be the same for you, and more.