To The Coworker Who Didn’t Know My Sexuality



I know you barely know me, and most days, that’s okay. We don’t need excessive backstories to accomplish our daily tasks. Sure we exchange pleasantries, ask about each others’ families and the like. But nothing goes much deeper than what’s immediately on the surface because I rarely know what to say.

Most days I like the separation of personal and professional life. In fact, it makes work more like a distraction than a chore. Yet today you struck up a conversation that left me feeling less welcome and more frightened than anything. I wanted to say so many things, but all that came out of my mouth was silence and strained, heavy sighs.

So, here’s the deal:

I live a bit of a double life, even a lie if you will. I present as a straight-laced, hetero-normative kind of gal, even with my lack of makeup or imperfect hair. But underneath the surface, that girl isn’t really there.

I like men and I like women. There I said it, so sue me. I don’t care about who is getting married, divorced, or shacking up with someone new. I support all kinds of people, regardless of what gender pronouns they choose to use or what kind of clothes they wear. I think love is a beautiful thing and it’s not our place to decide who does or does not deserve it. Sorry, you’re just not that important that you can dictate others’ lives.

I know that you say you’re just listening to the words of wisdom that come from somewhere above. But I can’t fathom how a creator or all-powerful presence would throw fire and brimstone over girls kissing other girls or someone wearing clothing that helps them feel more comfortable inside themselves.

I don’t think less of you for your lifestyle choices, and I hope that someday you’ll find it in your heart to accept others who live their life like I choose to live mine. I’d like to think that deep down you’re a great person, but perhaps just a little confused in the present moment.

I hope someday I can share the truth about myself with you out in the open, but until then, I’ll leave you with this:

I’m pretty sure God made everyone in His image, even those who identify as gay, lesbian, bi, or trans.

When you find love for all inside your heart, I promise you’ll start to understand so much more about life, the universe, and everything. And maybe, just maybe, there will still be space for you in heaven even if you “accept the gays.”


The Coworker You Didn’t Know Was Bisexual