To The Girl He Loved Before Me

To be honest, I don’t know you. I don’t know what you look like, or how tall you are, or what your hair color is. I don’t even know how you guys broke up. Or who dumped who. I don’t even know your name. I don’t know you. All I know is that you are the reason why he couldn’t love me the way he loved you. You are the reason why he’s not confident that his future relationships would be a long-term one.

You are the reason of his heartbreak. Why he has commitment issues. Why he keeps on dating girls that I know would just leave him. Why in the middle of our dates, he’ll say, “I know you’ll leave me. That’s what they all do,” out of the blue. You are the reason why he thinks this way. You are the reason why he always expects to be left behind. You are the reason why he’s still broken inside.

You are the reason why I gave up on him.

I gave up on him because of his inconsistencies. One day he’s clingy and cheesy and the next day, he’ll be as cold as fuck. I gave up on him because he couldn’t be open about anything serious that has happened in his life. I gave up on him because he’s not talking to me when our mutual friends are around. And that made our relationship a secret one. I gave up on him because he said he loves me but his actions said otherwise.

I gave up on him because of the small things that made me feel worthless but doesn’t really matter to me because I know that I can adjust. But there was a lot of those small things that made it blew up and then I couldn’t handle it anymore. I couldn’t handle the pain that these small things had given me.

And then I thought, “That’s enough.” I gave up in a snap.

I gave up on him and now I regret giving up on him.

And I wish I kept on trying.

Girl, you are the reason for all of this.