To The Man I’m Waiting To Love Me Back


I talk to you at times past 10 in the evening because they say the ignoring rate is much lower, since you don’t have many reasons to do so; but you know what, I hate small talk before midnight. The night is freaking young, the moon light shines the most, the stars are all dead and we’re all living below them. The night sky is as deep and vast as the ocean and I remember your eyes where I found the waves and let it crash into me, and how I’m glad it did.

Drop all the crap we would talk about during the afternoon heat; tell me about your weirdest dreams, why blue is your favorite color, your childhood even when you think its plainly boring, your opinion on politics and all the universe’s conspiracy theories, your fears and phobias, your first heartbreak, your everything – spill anything you can and I promise to do the same.

Let’s try to escape the people we’ve been during the day. I know you are tired and you just want to lie down and rest. Let’s be our own selves, someone we’ve always been but we’re always afraid to show the world. Let’s be bare and unafraid.

So can we have a moment and let’s be each other’s?

If we cannot, can I just express how much I love the simple things about you? I love how you close your eyes whenever you want to feel something. I love the way you tie your hair so it won’t irritate your face, and even so, you like your hair long. I love that mole on your cheek, and the way it makes you unique. I love your crooked lower teeth that you don’t show whenever you smile, but I see it whenever you laugh. I love the calmness in your voice, even when you sound so excited and exaggerated.

I love how whenever you let me embrace you, I feel so secured and safe. I love how you make me feel like I’m complete whenever I’m with you, whenever I’m watching you play. I love that whenever i talk to you, I suddenly become so honest and bold. I love how you make things so much easier and happier. I love that whenever I think of you, I only think of blissful thoughts.

To be honest, I want to let you feel that I am persistent. I will never stop until I reach you, until we’re just a few inches apart.

I want to let you feel that in your world full of uncertainty and madness, I am consistent. That even when in your ups and downs, you know someone who’ll always stay — someone whose options never includes leaving you all by yourself, who believes that it’s better to lose with you than to win without you, who will be willing to hold your hand when you feel sad and afraid yet in denial, and who firmly believes that you deserve all the love in this world.

You aren’t just an admiration I found floating elsewhere, you were different and I held on to that ever since that day.

We may not have mutual feelings, but it is fine. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

It’s more than letting you know through flowery words everyone could say. I just want to climb your wall and run into your heart to let you feel how my love for you grows stronger every waking day. I want to let you feel you are worth more than what you always think. Someone out there is willing to go across the planet as long as her destination would always be her home — to you.

Giving up isn’t an option. You are worth taking risks for.