To The Person I Will Never Call Mine


Let me begin with “Hello, I love you.”

I say this not because I need something from you or because I am lonely or wanting someone to love. I say it because I do love you. This is what I feel. This is what I have been feeling for some time now. The reason I keep talking to you, letting you lead me on is because somehow my heart found happiness in knowing you. Sounds crazy, yeah, my unusual self whenever the love bug bites me. Oh, I feel so elated every time you say those words to me, but let me tell you this:

Today I am not telling you I love you and expecting you to say it to me too.

No! That should only be done if that is how you truly feel. But if you say it out of an obligation to reciprocate what I have, don’t. I would rather love you selflessly than forcing love between us when we both know it will never work.

If I would allowed to choose, I would like to love you as a free man loves his country: vocal, honest, not hiding. But I guess our situation is not allowing me do it when both of us know there are people who will always be your priority and I, I will always be no one. This realization is so painful I laugh at myself thinking how pathetic I have become, loving someone I cannot have.

Yet, here I am loving you. Oh foolish, foolish love!

Hey, while I believe that there is no point in taking the same path with you, I may give myself the chance to just love you more, want you more until my heart gets weary and tired. I am letting this love consume me, to love so much that it overflows and allow myself to drown in it until the wanting ends somehow, until it will be finally over when I can accept the need to let go of the idea of us.

Loving you will never fade away; I will always have the love for you hiding somewhere in my heart. But you deserve the happiness your heart desires, my love, and I promise you I will never be in the way. That even though this love is pure and true, it is never greedy. It will not insist on the impossible. It knows when to let go, it knows when to stop saying, “Hello, I love you.”