To The Woman Who Ruined My Family


To the other woman,

I know who you are. You are the mother of the 2 kids my sister babysat all summer long. You worked with my father. And you are the woman my father cheated on my mother with.

I don’t know where you get off and what was going through your head when you decided to lead my father on and let him cheat on my mother. It’s selfish. It’s cruel. It’s a shitty thing to do. I don’t know your reasoning, whether you love him or it was a fling.

Regardless of feelings, you should not have done it.

My 15 year-old sister was the first one to say something, saying she had a feeling that my father was cheating. It was the weekend my mother went out of town and she said that my father had not come home that night, which is so unlike him. I asked him myself and he said he was out with friends. He sounded like a 16 year-old boy and I felt like a mother. Then I learned he was helping a woman he works with fix her dryer.

I knew right then, he wasn’t with friends, he was with you.

You’re a mother. You should understand that 3 kids and a wife don’t deserve to go through this. I’m sure your life has not been great, I think I heard you were divorced, for whatever reason I’m sure you know it’s not ideal for children to grow up in a broken home. Whether my parents get a divorce or they try to work it out, this will never fully be healed. My mother will always ache and wonder if he’ll do it again.

I watched my mother cry, harder than I’ve ever seen. Maybe you knew this, maybe you didn’t, but she’s sick, even though the cancer is gone, she’s still sick. I held her in my arms and felt her bones. That’s all she is now, is skin and bones. I’m watching my mother deteriorate, because the man she loves broke her heart. She looked at me, and said, “You can fight cancer, but this isn’t something medicine can help, this isn’t something that surgery can remove.” She blames herself, says that she shouldn’t have gotten sick. She says she’s begging for him back, apologizing all the time. She shouldn’t be doing any of that.

You should be begging on your god damn knees for her forgiveness. Because you were selfish, both of you were.

You must have known my father’s marriage wasn’t perfect, that he was falling apart. It’s been a hard few years, and I know that. But you swooped in when you had the chance and you let it go too far. I have a 7 year-old sister; in fact, she played with your son all summer while my other sister babysat them. You used my family however you could. How ungrateful can someone possibly be? We helped you because you needed it, and instead of being thankful to my family, you thanked my father in the most disgusting and unforgiveable way.

I think the hardest part for me in all of this, is that I don’t know who my father is anymore. Everyone says I look like him, and before I was honored because he was my hero. I would tell anyone who asked about him, that he is the nicest man I know. Now I can’t even look at him. I get married in 10 days to the love of my life, and I don’t even want my father to walk me down the aisle. I have dreamt of this day since I was a little girl. Can you imagine hating your father so much you don’t even want him at your wedding? I grew up looking at my parents, wanting a love like theirs. I was lucky enough to see them love each other like they once did, but my sisters will not get that. They will not get to learn what a mother and father’s love look like.

You two were selfish. You two were stupid. You two ruined my family.

Was it worth it? Imagine my mother crying so hard she can’t breathe. Picture my 15 year-old sister feeling awful that she was right. Just think about how my 7 year-old sister will have to grow up in a broken home.

I’m not completely blaming you, because it’s not entirely your fault. However, I still have this ache in my heart and I’m sorry for you.

I don’t feel like you deserve any happiness, and I don’t feel like you deserve love. If you have the audacity to try to be with a married man, then you don’t deserve anything good. I hope your children grow up to be amazing people, who have great respect for others and who can raise a beautiful family. I had the pleasure of meeting both of your kids, your son is sweet, and your daughter is beautiful and very mature for her age.

I hope they find happiness, but I do not wish the same for you.

I am not a spiteful person, and I’m rather forgiving. But the ache you’ve caused in my family is unforgivable. Growing up religious, I learned I have to forgive, but I think in some circumstances, it’s just not possible. Because when I think of my mother and when I think of my sisters, all I feel is anger for the person who did this. I feel so much anger for both you and my father. Grow up and learn some damn respect for other people and their families.

I want you to look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, was it fucking worth it?