Trauma Will Change You, But It Will Never Define You

You can stuff your memories into a vortex and squeeze your eyes shut for hours on end but it will not stop the rewiring of your brain, the thump, thump, thump in your chest. Silent tears will not stop the rage that builds until you scream at the world, scream at God, scream for the sake of screaming.

But trauma cannot steal your soul.

Trauma wants to break you. It will wrap its hands around your neck and squeeze until it suffocates all the joy. It will make you scared to ever love, ever touch, ever speak to someone again. Because what if they’re just like the last?

Hold on—hope is around the corner. Love will find you. The safe kind.

Trauma will tell you that you are a math problem: the sum of all your broken parts. It will tell you no one will ever love you. How could anyone ever love you? You will look in the mirror and begin to doubt who you are.

But trauma is a liar.

Trauma wants you to stay stuck, because then you never learn the secret: it doesn’t define you. It will never win. It may come like a thief in the night, but don’t let it steal even more from you.

Cling tightly to this truth: Despite all you’ve been through, you will see the light again. Love doesn’t stay stuck in a cage, it slowly comes to find you. And when it does, it will take many forms: a friend, a neighbor, a lover, a counselor, a parent.

Lean into the light now, darling. The shame that threatens to swallow you is not yours to digest. You are beautiful and whole, and trauma isn’t about what you did but what’s been done to you. So no, you will not be the same. You will be more courageous, transparent, empathetic, and whole. You will have seen the darkness and shut the door in its face. You will be victorious.