Unsolicited Explanation of a Grill
By Jimmy Chen
A “grill” is a set of jewels with which one’s front teeth are adorned, whose sociological capacity is to propel the wearer into a certain class. A grill can make someone look like a badass, or dumbass, depending on who you ask.
A crown functions much like a grill, though it is larger, and worn on a monarch’s head. Crowns have been worn by kings, queens, emperors, deities, and other powerful people. Circa A.D. 1700, if you called someone powerful a “[comparable word for ‘dumbass’]” you would most likely be beheaded, hung, or stoned to death.
The plural of grill is not grills but “grillz”; such liberty in spelling has rhetorical agenda which stem from disenfranchised urban communities asserting their own vernacular as a form of cultural dissent and self-empowerment. The usurpation of plural ‘s’ to ‘z’ is recognized as “street cred.”
When a person displays his [usually male] grill, it is often accompanied by a look of revulsion, or at least antagonism, towards the target [you] of such display. To explain this, one may broach upon socioeconomics and race, and how aggressive signs of monetary success is inevitable in late capitalism.
A crown is also a type of dental fixture in which an impaired tooth is covered by a metal sheath in order to protect it, a kind of non-stylized “practical grill” worn by people who are not necessarily badass, or dumbass, but simply have rotten teeth.
A grill can cost anywhere from thirty dollars to thirty-thousand dollars, depending on brand name, custom design, and quality of jewels. A grill is usually worn over the top teeth, though can be worn on the bottom as well.
Circa A.D. 2010, if you called someone with a grill a “[comparable word for ‘dumbass’]” you would most likely be pistol whipped like a bitch. Should you lose any teeth, a dental crown may be an option.