Up Until Yesterday, I Tried To Not Miss You


Up until yesterday, I never noticed the resemblance. You’re both lean and tall, both have hair some shade between brown and blond, but even that barely registered. Yesterday though, I noticed. Last night, I was curled up on my couch, glass of wine in hand, listening to my best friend tell some story about how he got with some girl at a party the other day only to find out that she had a boyfriend. And that’s when it hit me. I’ve listened to you tell stories like that more times than I can count – seriously, this happens to you way too often. It wasn’t just the story though, it was the way he told it. With that same twinkle in his eyes that you get when you can’t quite believe how ridiculous something is and yet you are just the tiniest bit proud.

Up until yesterday, I would have said you guys have nothing in common. Now, I can’t stop noticing other things. You guys have the same kind of humor, and I do mean, exactly the same kind. Some of the stuff he says…I swear you would have come up with it too. You both have that same politically incorrect bite to your comments and yet neither of you would ever act on it. You both give me that adorably arrogant smirk when you know you’re right about something and you both shake your head just a little when you have to concede that this time I am actually the one that’s right.

Up until yesterday, I was fine. And now you’re a memory come to life in the form of one of the people who is closest to me, who knows every inch of my soul, just like you know every inch of my body. I look at him and my breath falters just a little bit because I remember what it was like when you were the one staring back at me. My laugh catches in my throat when I remember how you once made a similar comment about the exact same dress.

Up until yesterday, I could pretend I didn’t miss you.