Upset About the Red Starbucks Cup? I’ve Got Just The Solution For You!

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By now, most of us have already heard about the Starbucks cup decoration controversy. For those who haven’t: this year, Starbucks replaced its traditional Christmas-themed cups with a two-toned red cup, and a good number of Christians are upset by this. Many have seen this as yet another attack on Christmas, if not Christianity in general. Some have been responding to the change with boycotting the franchise. Others are “pranking” baristas by saying their name is “Merry Christmas,” forcing the barista to write “Merry Christmas” on the cup.

Now, if you’re someone of the Christian faith who found the plain red cups upsetting, fear not: I’ve figured out what you can do in light of this controversy. I even broke it down into easy-to-follow steps:

First: go to Starbucks. Order yourself a drink that comes in one of those red not-Christmasy cups. Do that, “My name is Merry Christmas!” if you gotta get your little dig in. Enjoy your beverage to the very last drop. Take a quick detour to the restroom to wash the cup out in the sink.

Now: Fill that cup with money. Dollar bills or coins, I don’t care. Fill it with the money that you bragged about saving by boycotting a coffee shop. Take that cup of money, go down to the charitable organization of your choosing, and donate that cup.

Here’s the big part: lather, rinse, repeat that every time you genuinely feel like getting upset over this — because getting uppity over the minute details of a secular, private business is indicative of everything that is wrong with organized religion.

And for extra credit: recognize that the only “war against Christianity” going on in America right now is being waged by these very self-proclaimed Christians, who are doing everything but acting Christ-like.