Valentimes: 25 Valentines Made From NYTimes Headlines


1. “In An Age of Spending Cuts, We Would Write You a Blank Check Of Love”

2. “You Have Seized Our Heart Like Syrian Rebels Seized a Military Airfield Yesterday”

3. “Raising Wages Ease Income Gap But, the Terrible Distance Between You and Us Persists”

4. “Decision on Afghan Troop Levels Remind Us We Want To Cuddle With You Under An Afghan”

5. “G.O.P. Puts on a Calmer Face, But It’s Not as Pretty as Yours”

6. “Anxiety Continues Over Future of Bike Lanes and Our Relationship”

7. “Let Us Whisper In Your Ear, Because A New Study Shows Hearing Loss May Be Connected To Dementia”

8. “You’re No Imposter, Unlike Slaughterhouse Shut on Suspicion of Selling Horse Meat as Burger Beef”

9. “American Vermouth: We Want To Get You Drunk on This Trendy Craft Spirit”

10. “Let Us Be Your ‘Mail’ Interest Now That The Post Office Seeks To End Saturday Delivery”

11. “Without You We Would Wilt Like Honduras Against The U.S. In Last Week’s World Cup Qualifier”

12. “If We Were a Cigarette Russia’s New Public Smoking Ban Would Not Keep Us from Your Lips”

13. “We Could Kiss You 2,400 Times Which Is Also the Number of Jobs ING Will Cut”

14. “We Want To Brooklyn You in the Brooklyn While We Slowly Brooklyn Your Brooklyn”

15. “Please Do Not Deny Us Like a Former Indian Air Force Chief Denied Taking Bribes”

16. “You are Hotter than the Spiciest Phaal at This Once-Trendy Indian Restaurant”

17. “Be Mine, Like the Ones Filled Of Gold That Have Displaced Thousands in the Darfur Region”

18. “You Make Us Lighter Than the Air Over Asian Cities, the Quality of Which Is Worsening Experts Warn”

19. “We Are Sweeter on You than Health Officials on Banning Soft Drinks”

20. “Internal Study Reveals: We are 100% Sure We Love You”

21. “Do Not Let the Following Tedious Movie Review Dissuade You From Seeing It With Us.”

22. “Our Pledge to You Is Stronger than Mr. Obama’s Pledge to Lift Economy for Middle Class”

23. “You Make Us Seethe with Passion Like Brazilians Over Public Officials’ ‘Super Salaries’”

24. “We Will Touch Your Heart For the Better Like Chelation Therapy in Much-Debated Trials.”

25. “36 Hours in Our Bedroom: We Recommend You Visit this Weekend.”

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