Waiting For A Text From A Casual Partner


First off, chill the fuck out.

You are a smart, capable, interesting, attractive and confident woman who just hasn’t had much time to see or speak to her sort-of-boyfriend for the last couple of weeks There is no reason he could have lost interest – other than just generally getting bored; which is something you can’t prevent, no matter how much you love to be in control. And even if you could do something to stop him from “going off” you for no real reason, would you want to? He’s just a dick if that’s what happened – if he’s going to stop seeing you without explanation and just hope you’ll get the message from his silence. Especially after you’ve been seeing each other for four months. ESPECIALLY since he did all the chasing to start off with and you’ve got mutual friends so you’ll still have to see each other.

But anyway, in all likelihood, he hasn’t lost interest and you’re just overreacting. He’s a boy – he probably isn’t even thinking about it; he just needs space and is a bit bored of doing all the running while you’ve been busy. Asking him to hang out this week isn’t needy or desperate or a big deal, apart from in your head where you’ve somehow blown it up to me. He doesn’t realise he was on the receiving end of a really loaded text where his reply and the time frame it arrives in mean the world to you. He’s just a dude who got a text from the girl he’s dating asking if he’d like to hang out this week, and he’ll reply when he’s ready.

When you think about it, his behaviour over the last month or so hasn’t really been much different to usual – for some reason it’s you that’s changed… go back to how you were in the beginning! Fun! Assertive! Not reactive, not overthinking – just going with the flow. I know it feels different now because you Really Like Him, but the only difference really is that you’ll be slightly hurt by a rejection. Everyone gets hurt sometimes… I know you’ve built walls up over the last few years to minimise your pain, but fortunately or otherwise, this guy has managed to break through them and you’re no longer immune. It won’t kill you to feel a bit of heartache (if that’s what this comes to) – it might even be good for you to experience rejection, Little Miss Ego.

Anyway, it’s not going to come to that because he’ll have been pleased to hear from you. Pleased you’ve made the effort for the first time in ages. And when you’re home tonight, sitting on your bed and crying along to a Taylor Swift song because you feel like no one will ever love you again, he’ll probably text you telling you his day was manic and asking when you want to set something up for.

And if all else fails just remember the single girls’ mantra: If he’s not interested, he’s an asshole.

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image – Cristiano Betta