We Are The Spiders Of Our Very Own Existence
It’s all how you spin it. We are the spiders of our very own existence. Weaving webs, adventures and tales. Truths intermixed with lies. Or perhaps lies intermixed with truths?
Our ability to selectively spin our lives for our own gain and satisfaction resonated with me as I sat writing, or rather, editing my resume. No, of course I didn’t or don’t create a new resume every time a new opportunity is sought after. Only an idiot would. It’s a matter of a few moments and reversals, admissions or omissions of words and phrases. Designer dialect. Which words are going to help me get this job? What do they want to hear? The quickest way to realize you’re running after your passion, is when those mere moments, become more lengthy hours. All of a sudden you are making a conscious effort to get that job, because it actually matters. Yes, you might weave the words a little differently, or omit or add others, like you’ve been doing all along. But all of a sudden, these actions require more than a mere thought, and all of a sudden you might find yourself doing that thing where you stop to remember what makes you happy, to recall what it is that gets your heart pounding. A grin might even cross your face. You begin really thinking of your qualifications, not just pretending you have them (although a little fake-it-till-you-make-it is also essential in its own right). You want so badly to be qualified. Qualify me dammit, you think. Then you start thinking if you’ve been living a mistake all along? No, everything you’ve done has led you to this moment. Likely you weren’t ready for this moment at any other time. Clouds of clarity fog your vision. Oxy I know, but guess what? Life is a living, breathing contradiction.Naturally, we want what’s no good for us. We preach happiness and the following of dreams to our favourite people, really, anyone who might listen. Sometimes, we just need to take our own advice.
Most people can tell when you’re lying. Occasionally we have those real moments of clarity, when we catch ourselves lying, and have the opportunity to change the outcome in some way, or at least alter the action, hoping for a change of outcome.
If we can’t be honest with ourselves, how do we stand a chance of being honest with others? Webs are woven, and perhaps, more important than the lies that are formed, are the truths that are misplaced. Our false projection of self perpetually extinguishes the slivers of truth that so desperately await acknowledgement. So the next time you’re weaving your webs, be it crafting that story, tweaking that resume, or orally assaulting a group with your half-truths, do so consciously. Because even if that lie is told, it’s the personal acknowledgement…
Upon further inspection of your elusive masterpiece, you notice you did tell the truth, but you don’t like how it looked or sounded. Omit. There. More perfect.
If you construct and communicate lies, but fail to believe them yourself, you eventually will be driven to stop constructing them in the first place, or more vitally, stop spreading them. We are what we believe. Danger lies where we lie and believe our own lies.