What Happens When The Nazis Are Brown?

Those colorful, calamitous cheerleaders of the caliphate are at it again! This time, they’re invoking a bogeyman who has been dead for nearly 70 years yet somehow holds mystical power over everything we do.

While the incredibly effective jet-setters at the UN Security Council called for an “immediate and unconditional” cease-fire in Gaza this week—upgraded from their “srsly” one last week and the “whatevs” declaration the week prior—these “disenfranchised youths of North African origin” have been stormin’ synagogues, tossing explosives, and chanting no-nos such as “Death to Jews!” and “Hitler was right!” to protest Israel’s never-ending conflict with the sons of Ishmael.

The brownshirts are now the brownskins!

Jolly Ol’ Hitler keeps reinventing himself after death, and he’s even more gangsta now than Tupac. Marxists don’t seem to be bothered by Israeli-specific Jew-bashing, because, like, it’s totally dif than the skinhead kind. But this silly swastika revival must tie their fevered brains in knots since they’re always looking at minorities for the barometer of what’s cool. What’s a revolutionary to do?

Europeans dubbed Jews the most sensitive class of people when they imposed anti-Nazi-propaganda laws. But these decrees against bad words and violent drawings were originally designed to bop uppity white people over the head when they don’t feel sufficient shame over being the wrong skin color. It’s worked well, thanks largely in part to white folks being the only race to feel bad about themselves. However, humorless Hessians were not the only ones to take umbrage at God’s chosen people. And it turns out that Arab immigrants aren’t so easily swayed by white finger-waving as evidenced by their semi-annual Days of Rage (my favorite holiday!) despite magical bans on these protests across cities such as Paris.

As unintended consequences go, this one is especially delicious to me. In fact, I’m perversely rubbing my tummy and licking my lips as I type this. While white Euros feel oh-so-good about shaming their fellow skin-privileged kin, they feel very icky when confronted with the harsh reality that the dusky folks they champion don’t share the same guilt pangs.

European poofter politicians’ eyes are finally starting to cross at their multicultural powder keg. It will be interesting to see how they deal with their morose Moors’ fascist fancies.

So far, it’s all quiet on the Post-Western front.