What It’s Like Being A Guy Who Will Actually Make The Effort


We are the generation of opened Snapchats and ignored calls. The generation of Instagram likes and the perceived validation they bring. Of precisely timed text messages so that we do not appear too anxious. And I am tired of it all.

Guys are not supposed to care if they get ghosted. They’re not supposed to care if someone turns and walks out of their life without so much as a goodbye.

But I do.

As a 23-year-old guy, I’ve loved and I’ve lost. I’ve begged people to stay in my life just because I was scared to see them go. I’ve spent nights asking myself why I wasn’t good enough. How someone that I loved could just turn their back on me when I needed them most, and not seem the least bit bothered by it. And yes, I have shed a countless number of tears.

But according to society, this isn’t how I should act. I should say something like “onto the next” while I go to some dimly lit bar and try to pick up someone new with the scent of cheap liquor lingering on my lips. I should post pictures looking happy & unbothered, with captions just subliminal enough to suggest who my target audience is.

But I refuse.

I refuse to be what society wants me to be. I refuse to act like I could care less. I refuse to aid in the destruction of normal relationships and the lost art of loving someone.

I will text you first. I will make the effort to see you. I will always tell you how I feel, even if it means giving you the power to destroy me.

This doesn’t make me weak. This doesn’t make me any less of a man. As a matter of fact, it makes me strong. Strong enough to provide unwavering support for whoever walks into my life next. Strong enough to try changing the stigma around how males are supposed to act in a relationship.

Strong enough to be weak.

Some girls may have hated it. Some girls may not have been able to handle it. And that’s okay.
I forgive everyone who has not been able to understand that my heart is like a universe, and not just a solar system.

As a generation of males, we need to do better. We will do better.

I challenge you all – tell them that you love them. Tell them that you miss them. Get their favorite ice cream and go see them. You’d be surprised at what can happen when we propagate love and not indifference.

Love conquers fear.