What To Do When He Stops Loving You


Believe him when he says he’s done with you. Trust him. Because this time around, he’s not playing games anymore. He has found someone new. And in as much as it stings to realize that he has replaced you with a better one, all you can really do is accept that. Take no offense on his douchery. It’s not you, it’s him.

Most likely, your brain is going to process this new information, sending signals all over your body where you’re supposed to hurt. The world is going to spin faster below you. Everyone’s face around you is going to blur. When you reach the point where you’re about to collapse, try to hold on to the tiniest strength that’s still existing in your muscles. Think of a safe zone. Find a home. Guide your feet to be in a place where you can completely break down.

As soon as you arrive in your refuge camp, grab a pen and a piece of paper. Write everything your heart feels until your fingertips get tired. Stain the sheet below you with tears. Scream your pain out. Throw away the things that remind you of him. Cuss on top of your lungs. Allow yourself to be a human being.

“He doesn’t love you anymore.” Say this to yourself over and over again. Relive the moment when he uttered these words nonchalantly. As if the memories you shared together weren’t important.

Learn to be okay with people deciding to stop loving you. Know that things can be ended in just five words.

Admit how weird you’re feeling. How strange that people can just open their eyes one morning and decide they want to eject you permanently from their lives. How unfair it is when they don’t give notice period for their departures. Like they just turn off their feelings and walk on the opposite direction. They leave you standing right there — questioning and confused and abandoned.

But try not to take this too personal. It’s them who got issues. It’s them who got tired of fighting and living for tomorrow with you. Heartbreak is part of the game we’re all playing, whether we like to participate in it or not. Someone’s going to be dumped and someone’s going to do the dumping.

Make peace with the fact that, after he stops loving you, there’s not one thing that you can do to make him stay. He wants his way out, so give him. And then burn him inside your mind. Blow his ashes in an open field. Wipe your hands clean and watch every last piece of him scatter in the wind. It’s not easy retiring his character in your book, but you’re going to do it.

Let yourself believe that you can find his replacement any time of the day. That there are so many eligible men out in the wilderness. And everything is about to get better after this tragedy. Allow yourself to wish that one day, you’re going to be somewhere magical not thinking of him as much; not recalling how big the sword he buried inside your chest.

Don’t let him be the reason why you’re scared to take a risk again. Ignore the details of your past. Begin fresh. Feel the pain and the joy that love brings in your life. Keep hoping for a good story that you deserve, no matter how many times you’ve been disappointed.

Convince yourself that one rejection won’t put your life on hold. Him deciding to stop loving you is, in fact, an opportunity for you to reevaluate the kind of love that is right for you. Take your time to pause for a moment and heal. When something inside of you tells you that you’re ready, take that as a cue to open the gates of your heart. And push yourself to fall in love like crazy, once more.