When I’m With You, I Feel Like I’m At Home


You are a sunset.

You are a bright orange sun, ever so slowly setting
Leaving behind a radiant multicolored sky in your wake.
Never the same sky twice, never the same magnificent view.
Unpredictable and changing before my eyes.
One minute, you’re talking about beer, basketball and drums, the next minute we’re lying in bed, talking about life and the strange way people find each other.
In between all the boardgames, adventures, beers and cigarettes,
through all the times you’ve given me exactly what I needed
before I ever even knew I needed it,
You are a most beautiful surprise.

You are the one thing I look forward to seeing after a long day.
The calming constant reminder that no matter how harsh the sun is all morning,
The scorching heat slowly and surely fades away.
You talk about your fears, and manage to somehow ease all of mine.
I’d like to think that I’m a strong girl, and I rarely ever need help.
But during those times when I found myself sprawled on the floor,
In a messy fit of tears, unsure in my decisions, or pissed drunk trying to forget my woes
You are the constant comforting presence that picks me up and gets me back on my feet.
One word from you, and I’m home. I’m no longer afraid.
With you, I am certain.

You are the perfect culmination to everyday
The last kiss of warmth before the cold of night.
You are golden, and bright, stubbornly refusing to give up your place in the sky.
“I’m not leaving here, until you take my hand, come down and see this.” I was so sure I didn’t want to see what was in that cave. It was just another cave. Dark and cold and scary. My legs hurt, and my shoes were very slick from the muddy trail we had just come down from. I was so sure I didn’t want to come down and join you. I’m glad I did. That cave was beautiful.
You are the quiet “you can do it” and “I’m proud of you” at the back of my mind.
With you, I know I can.

You were my sunset — blazing and incredible.
You were all sorts of wonderful and yet my time with you was fleeting.
No matter how much I will miss your ‘just right’ kind of heat, how deeply you knew me, and how right it felt being with you, I know it wasn’t meant to last.
I knew things were complicated, people and situations would get in the way, and you just didn’t think I was worth the trouble.
I knew our sunlight would burn away.
But maybe I’m looking at it the wrong way.
Maybe letting go of the sunset is the best thing to do, so that I get to appreciate something just as beautiful.
In letting go of you, I begin to see the stars.
Tomorrow, there’ll be another sunset. There’ll be another you.