When Traditionalism And Feminism Collide, Which One Do You Choose?


Do you choose the role of the Damsel in Distress waiting for her knight in shining armor to sweep her off your feet?

Or the Wonder Woman feminist, who regards Prince Charming as nothing more than an inconvenience when she was doing just fine with her seven dwarfs?

When you’re encompassed by the best of both worlds, which one to you choose?

When you grow up in a world where gender roles are very much respected, yet learn that women could be – and ARE – powerful in the workforce, what do you do?

Do you become the Sarah Jessica Parker portraying a woman in her ultra-busy juggling act of a fund manager/mother in the much acclaimed “I don’t know how she does it” production?

Or do you forego the pantsuit altogether?

With role models like Beyoncé, Emma Thompson, Celine Dion and Oprah Winfrey, who bring us closer to the reality of becoming moguls with a girlboss mindset and empire-building skills, is having it all truly possible?

I want to be a strong, self-sufficient woman, so I think I should be doing it all on my own. But can’t I also sometimes just be a damsel in distress? It’s a confusing mix of feelings, but I think a strong woman also knows when to ask for help.

Due to my complex upbringing, I got a taste of both worlds. Traditionalism and feminism collided in my life, and at times, they still do.

Ever since I was a little girl, my fairytale ending involved a pantsuit, not a wedding dress. And yet I dreamed of a house smelling like cookies, with kids covered in baking powder running around a messy kitchen.

I want to be a strong, self-sufficient woman who can kill her own damn spider and change her own flat tire.

I want to be the strong, self-sufficient woman who speaks her mind and curses.

I want to make the kind of money that allows me to jet to Mexico on a Tuesday.

And yet, I want to come home to a house filled with love and home-cooked meals. I want to attend kids’ birthday parties whilst sewing the perfect dress for my daughter.

Success is a subjective standard. We should all be more ready to admit that, while women may want and deserve to achieve great things in life, that definition of “great” varies person to person.

So why can’t I just have it all?