When You Can’t Go Back, Start Over

Life, now that I’ve aged, seems the same dull affair I never quite figured out, everyone says it has some meaning, some meaning you have to find, live long enough and you’ll see the light at the tunnel’s end, why is the tunnel so long?

What is it that I want to find, happiness or peace? Or will I be used to living in pure chaos by then?

What if the things everyone says we all want aren’t the things I want at all? What if I spend my life running after someone else’s idea of a blessed life?

What if I realize the value of this life when I’m halfway done living it? Just because it is like that with most people, why must it be the story of my life too?

Things that make you happy slip away so quickly, but you should never go back for things, if you changed, so did they, what once was, will be, but not in the same way, your past should only exist in your dreams, beautiful from afar but as you reach for it,

you wake up with a start; if you look backwards and walk, you’ll crash, don’t forget, life is a series of memories you’re trying to relive but can’t,

so you sit by a window when it’s raining, pretend it’s the same room you grew up in, and you’re still a kid, not bothered with finding the meaning in everything, life was simpler because there was so much you didn’t know that you needed to know,

but then the dream ends, the illusion shatters and you’re older, more alone than you’ve ever been, more weary, but at least you’re alive,

if you can’t go back for something, create it once again where you are, for in this thing called life, no matter how weary it gets, if you have the will, you can try again and again and if you’re determined, you’ll turn water to wine and be the miracle you were praying for all your life.