When You Don’t Need Them But You Want Them


Need is often viewed as a negative feeling. To tell someone we need them is to place too much responsibility on their shoulders. To tell someone we need them is to give them too much power over us. When we think we need a person in order to be happy, to survive, is it really even them that we need? What void in our lives are we attempting to fill with that person?

Reaching a point in life where you realize you are all you really need to be happy is a beautiful thing. Knowing that you can date and willingly give your heart to another person and not risk losing yourself because you are complete all on your own lends a whole new perspective on dating. This new perspective shows you that even if you invest your time and energy, even if you drop your guard and things don’t work out, you’ll be okay. There is comfort in knowing your life is already complete and in being open to the possibility of someone else adding to your wholeness.

Knowing that you don’t need a partner to live a fulfilling life but still meeting someone you want to share your life with makes dating an enjoyable experience. You might find that you still enjoy doing some things on your own but that you crave the company of that specific person. Do you need them in order to function? Of course not, but their presence does add to your happiness. You might find yourself actively looking for reasons to talk to them or be near them.

You want them.

You know you don’t need them, but you want them to take up space in your life. You want them around for the lazy Sunday mornings and the stressful before work hustle. They’re who you want to talk to when you’ve had the best day and you just have to share your joy with someone. They’re who you want to talk to when you get bad news and want someone to just be with you. You know you can make it through hard times on your own, but you want them with you nonetheless.

You want the simple parts of life with them and the big decisions with them. You know you’re capable of making those decisions on your own, but you want to share life with them. You want to include them.

When you don’t need them but you want them, you find that the uncertainties you felt in previous relationships fall away. You feel a sense of security with them because you know you could be okay without them. You don’t want to be without them. You want to choose them every time, and you want them to do the same, but you know that you could be just fine without them.

When you don’t need them but you want them, and when they understand and appreciate that, hold on to them because that’s the kind of person you want in your life.