When You Find Someone Without Any Red Flags


“Too good to be true,” keeps running through your head, even as you’re planning your next date. You’ve convinced yourself that “good guys” don’t exist anymore and that it’s okay to ignore a red flag (or five). You’ve settled for inconsistent communication, emotional absenteeism, verbal abuse, addicts, men with baggage (that doesn’t even come close to matching your own), men who are on the rebound, etc. etc. You’ve agreed to terms and conditions per the other person for so long, you’ve nearly forgotten that, in fact, you deserve butterflies and a stupid grin that you can’t get rid of.

And, when, suddenly, Mr. (seemingly) Perfect appears on your doorstep, you feel a shock to the senses, a slap in the face. You ask yourself two crucial questions, neither of which you can answer with any degree of certainty. ‘Why on earth did I ever find it acceptable to be treated like an object to be manipulated?’ and ‘Where’s the catch?’

Sure, there’s probably a skeleton or two you’ve yet to unearth. Those come in time. You already know you’ve got a couple of your own, so you’re cool with that (as long as they aren’t literally skeletons). But, a couple of weeks have passed and you’ve not raised an eyebrow yet (and PS, your eyebrows are lookin’ pretty good ‘cause you suddenly have a reason to have them done). What do you do now?

Take it slow. That’s what you should do. Broadcast it to your girlfriends, parents, boss and the lady at the gas station? That’s what you actually do. Because you simply can’t believe that, after all the frogs you’ve kissed, you might have found someone who isn’t an amphibian. He may not be a prince (then again, maybe he is), but right now, you’re just giddy as a school-girl to have met someone that hasn’t yet sent you running for the hills. And, even if it turns out to be brief, you’ve at least been given a very important reminder that red flags are not a necessity in a relationship.

featured image – Flickr / andreasohman