Who Do You Think You Should Pick—The Bad Boy Or The Nice Guy?


My sweet sisters, what do we truly want in a man? The bad boy with darkness behind his eyes and a closed-off heart. The one we believe we can change with our love and support. OR… do we want the nice guy who is sweet and tender. The gaze of his eyes opens the gateway to his soul. No trouble, no secrets, just love shared between two people.

Truthfully, I want both! I want the bad boy that claims me as his own with sheer passion and untamed ecstasy. I also want the nice guy that softens my edges and makes me feel as if my time with him is complete bliss.

Wouldn’t you? For me, that is what I choose. That is my choice as it gives me true fulfillment of my wants, desires, and needs.  I choose a man who embraces all his sexual energy (and commit to awakening all of mine so as to mirror this contribution to him.)

When I say ‘all his sexual energy’ I mean for him to span the wide spectrum of masculine and feminine energy in his being to embrace the rough and the tender, the sensual and the aggressive. To blend the two sides until they become one, creating the essence of true, raw energy.

Sometimes he is a softer, tender, caring energy, makes me my coffee in the morning, touches my cheek as he walks by, and sends me a love note.

Sometimes he’s more directional, booking my plane flight, organizing things for me, guiding my choices so as to most honor my creative juices, and other times I don’t want him to care what I think, just grab me and do me right there. Right?!

Sometimes the same holds true for me, I want to be his soft shoulder to rest his head upon, or I desire to cook a meal for him and create a nourishing home. Other times, I desire to tell him exactly what I want him to do, from fix the hinge on the door, to take me as soon as he gets home (pick up take out on the way in so we can eat it in bed because I’m not cooking).

It is about a willingness for ourselves to play with dark and light, our receptive and directional energies. It seems to attract a partner also ready willing and able to play in these energies and a willingness to be in allowance of each other as you find the matches, do the dance and experience the unknown together. This is what makes it more enjoyable.

Remember you don’t need approval to be enough, you are allowed to try things that don’t work. Just laugh it off and try something else! You’re allowed to be vulnerable and raw and share your true desires knowing if they agree or disagree, it has nothing to do with your inherent worth or beauty.

So I say go for a man whose energies are broad – be broad, wide, deep and curious about your own sexual nature. Enjoy all that’s possible in the unknown mystery of the dance of life. All of life is an opportunity to create beauty, to create ritual, to embrace and savor the deliciousness, and to be grateful.