Why A Little Girl Dancing In The Subway Is Our New Santa Claus

People on my newsfeed hate this video of a little girl dancing in the subway, in which she inspires others (actors? Who cares?) to join in her merriment. Is it because the video “Jukin Media Verified,” and therefore way less authentic than if this happened without being “verified?” Or is it because everyone hates the holidays and happiness? Or is it because of the illuminati? Guess what, guys: the olds and the youths don’t care about your distrust of media or cynical distaste. They just want to dance in the subway and share cute videos with their siblings and long lost friends on Facebook. This little girl is delivering presents to everyone— even though she might be an instrument of an asshole media non-mastermind. Santa Claus never wanted to be a commercial gimmick either, but as Kanye West once rapped, “screams from the haters, got a nice ring to it— I guess every superhero needs his theme music.” This child’s theme music is both jovial and hater-filled, but she will keep on dancing her way into my heart. Or to the bank. Whatever. Stop supporting corporations…and buy my e-book, your mom would love it!