Why Am I So Damn Attracted To Channing Tatum In A Rainbow Unicorn Halloween Costume?


You know a guy is hot as hell when he can dress up like a magical unicorn and you’d still choose to “fuck” him in the game “marry, fuck, kill.” I mean, I’m not generally attracted to rainbow-hued fantastical creatures, but hot damn, homeboy can get it.


I’d take that horn for a spin anytime.

So just to clear things up, Tatum wasn’t just walking around the streets casually in a unicorn costume (and yet, if he were, I’d 10/10 still bang him). He was actually dressed as the sexy man-horse for his daughter’s pre-school Halloween party, which is pretty cute in a weird, innocent way. How many moms do you think fantasized stripping that unicorn hoodie right off his defined, definitely-visible pecs?

I guess I should be applauding Tatum for his good parenting and his ability to free himself of gender norms and masculinity stereotypes just to make his daughter happy, but I’m still too busy trying to figure out why I’m so damn attracted to a dude who looks like something right out of my little sister’s My Little Pony DVD collection.

Oh yeah, and his wife, Jenna Dewan Tatum, was also there. She was pretty, per usual. Do you think she also has weird fantasies about Channing Tatum in a unicorn costume?

Honestly, my overpowering attraction to Channing Tatum wearing a rainbow unicorn Halloween costume deserves a whole damn psychological investigation. But hell, if something is wrong with me, I don’t ever want to be right.