Why Girls Like Hannah Horvath Will Never Be Successful


1. Inexplicably annoying awkwardness

There’s no room in New York for awkwardness. Everyone has their agenda and they work like bloodthirsty motherfuckers to fulfil it. People like Hannah, who walk, talk and behave clumsily cannot survive in a fast-paced environment.

The awkward words that come out of her mouth are the nails that keeps her secured to the ground of failure. The lazy-and-tired way she walks is what makes people write her off and ignore her. Shedding the awkwardness you were born with is the first step towards taking yourself seriously.

2. Immature

She doesn’t know what to say and when to say it. Talking about rape at an interview she so badly needed to ace was both stupid and immature. Not stopping to figure out the problems in a relationship she longed to have – unforgivable. To call 911 because her ex boyfriend was in her apartment – just low.

3. Self-hater

She’s so unsure of herself that it comes off as pathetic. Hannah is supposed to represent ‘everygirl’ – or the everyday girl. But the writers have definitely outdone themselves and pushed her from being an everyday girl into a pathetic girl.

In a fight with Marnie, she says: “That is because no one can ever hate me as much as I hate myself, okay? So any mean thing anyone can think of to say about me I’ve already said to me, about me, probably in the last half hour.”

Pathetic. Not only is she using her self-loathing as an advantage to win a petty fight, she also puts her self-doubt out there for her crumbling best friend to deal with, on top of everything else. With all these issues bubbling around inside of her, it’s no wonder that she can’t pull herself together for one second to be any kind of successful.

4. Very poor dresser

I wonder why Hannah doesn’t notice that no one around her wears what she does. Her clothes are always inappropriate – too short, see through, camel-toey… Any self-respecting girl in New York who wants to break into the media/publishing business would have an idea about how to dress herself. It simply doesn’t make sense that she would turn up to a party or an interview in an outfit that bloats her tummy and flattens out her boobs. She does have a soft, darling figure – but if how you dress represents who you are…

Oh, and I’ve never once seen her wearing the push-up bra that she very much needs.

5. Points 1-4 spell out LOSER

There’s a new fad that being awkward is ‘cool’. And yes, it was started by Stephanie Meyers and her Bella character. Unfortunately for the rest of us who live in the real world, this has caught on and many girls now have an excuse not to grow up. Growing up is the process where you shed all that.