Why I Don’t Believe In “The One”


As someone who’s read a lot of romantic novels and watched a lot of romantic films I can conclusively tell you that there’s one thing they all have in common: “the one”. This idea that there’s one person in the whole wide world with whom you’re ‘meant to be’ and that’s complete bullshit.

I’ve dated a lot and I’ve hooked up a lot, and I really don’t have a problem with the idea of love, and settling down, getting married, having kids and growing old together. It’s just that there’s this idea that there’s only one person in the world who you can do that with. You don’t know that, you don’t know everyone.

There are 7 billion people in the world, how many of them will you meet in your life? According to Google, under 100,000. That may sound like a lot, but think about it, that’s about 0.001%, and of them, how many people are we going to be close enough to for us to see them a viable marriage material? Not many. What are the odds of every person on earth finding the one in this 0.001% of people who’ll they will meet.

What happens if your “one” gets hit by a bus on the day you were supposed to meet? Are you just supposed to grow old alone? Because given how many people die a day, that would be an awful lot of loneliness. What if you live in Britain and your “one” lives in Ghana, you’re likely never even going to go to Ghana, let alone meet them out of the nearly 26 million people that live there.

What if you meet them before you’re “meant” to? Like, when you’re young and still parting rather than thinking about life goals. What if there’s a make or break with them at that point? Maybe you have a problem with smokers, or only want to date someone of the same religion as you. There’s just too much to go wrong with this whole “the one” thing. This whole idea seems far to illogical.

Of course, you might believe in fate and destiny, and that the “one” always finds you, no matter the abject circumstances. And that’s fair enough, but even so, do you not think that it’s unlikely that it will be that simple. Like you’ll bump into them in the street and suddenly know. I doubt that, love takes time. But when you logic it out, the idea makes no sense.
I think it’s easy for us to get lost in romance. In the boy meets girl tale, they fall in love and get married and live happily ever after. That’s rarely the reality.