Why I Don’t Want You To Love Me


i) On some days, I would need to 
love myself more than I love you, 
because that would be the only way
I could keep going on.

ii) There would be days when I would
hate you for not being able to make 
everything better, even while knowing
that it is not humanely possible for you to do so.

iii) On some days, I would inevitably doubt 
you, and everything that you say and 
have ever said, and no reassurance could 
possibly work on those days.

iv) On most days, I would hate myself for
loving you as much as I know I do, 
for not being able to be content in my
solitude, for wishing to never be alone.

v) Most importantly, my experience has 
taught me to always expect the worst, 
to not be surprised at the disappointment,
but you, I never want you to turn into 
another dark thing that I keep locked
inside the deepest crevice of myself.