Why I Never Should Have Liked Him


You made me wait hours, sometimes days, for texts back and your replies only consisted of two-word answers. I would start and restart conversations, giving you plenty of chances to pick up the slack, but you would never help me. I had to carry every conversation. I had to fight to get an answer out of you.

You sent mixed signals, but whenever I did the same, you would get pissed off at me. You would act like I was being unreasonable if I told you I was too busy to see you or if I missed one of your phone calls, even though you did the same exact things to me every single day. You were a complete hypocrite. You made zero sense.

You bought me food, called me pretty, completely led me on — but told me you weren’t ready for a relationship right now when I was brave enough to make a move. You acted like you wanted me to become your girlfriend when we were in private, but when you were around other people, you wanted to keep your options open. You would flirt with other people directly in front of me. You would make me feel wanted and then turn around and make me feel like shit all in the same day.

You refused to be honest with me. You would lie to me. You would drop out of my life without warning and then return as if nothing ever happened. Whenever I called you out on some bullshit move you pulled, you would tell me how insulted you were to be called a liar, find a way to make yourself look like the good guy in the situation, and find a way to make me feel guilty even though I wasn’t the one who screwed up.

You made me promises you never managed to keep. You acted like you were going to take me here and there but never followed through. You made me look forward to things that you never had any intention of doing. You left me feeling disappointed because for some stupid reason I actually believed you back then.

You gave me adrenaline. You gave me butterflies. You gave me a reason to believe something more was going to happen between us. Even though you treated me like a backup plan the entire time I knew you, I still wanted to date you. I still wanted to spend all my time with you.

You expected me to wait for you forever, even though you weren’t willing to give me what I wanted. You weren’t willing to compromise with me at all. You took whatever you wanted and assumed I would stick around until you were finally ready to make a commitment. And I did. For a while. For way too long. And then I finally came to my senses.

I never should have wasted so much time on you. I never should have let you get away with so much bullshit. I never should have liked you in the first place.