Why I’m Following You To Pittsburgh


If you asked me right now, I wouldn’t know where to start. I’m not dismissing the fact that I’m madly in love with you, but there’s more to it than that. I thought that I knew what love was in the past, but somehow you’ve showed me just how wrong I was. Love doesn’t make you simply want to do crazy things; it makes you do them. The first time I spoke to you, I never would’ve imagined that in just a month’s time I would love you. I never would’ve imagined that I would be bending over backwards to apply to a school in your city so that I could spend every day of my life with you. I never would’ve imagined that you would become so important, so necessary, to me. I thought I was finished with Pittsburgh. I thought I hated Pittsburgh. Suddenly, it was a city full of love, adventure, and opportunity to me. It was laden with possibility. It was my home.

I am scared—no, I am terrified. The next month is brimming with uncertainty. The one thing that I’m sure of is that I’m coming to you. I couldn’t tell you if I’ll be enrolled in school or if I’ll be able to afford my rent, but I can foresee myself running scared into your arms and letting you catch me. By falling in love with you, I’ve learned to trust in that. I’ve learned that for now, that is all I need. Before you, it would never have been enough.

Pittsburgh’s long, grueling, and dark winter used to beat me down, but not anymore. Now, when I think of it, I think of what I’m going to do to keep the winter from making you sad. I think of coming home and making you tea. I look forward to having the privilege of kissing you on the forehead when you’ve had a long day. I look forward to exploring the side of myself that I’d kept hidden in the back of my mind for years. I look forward to having something to work for. I’m grateful that I have something I believe in, and I’m grateful that I have someone who believes in me. I have always felt very alone in this world. When someone makes you feel like you’re a part of a team, you don’t pass them up. You do everything in your power to keep them in your life.

So, if you asked me why I’m following you to Pittsburgh, I guess that’s the long-winded response. But if I had to sum it up, I’d say that you don’t walk away from the only person that’s ever made you feel like you belong. You don’t pass up a person who makes you feel unstoppable. You go to them. Don’t question it.