Why Seasonal Romances Are The Worst

They always say the best things in life come when you are least expecting. What they don’t tell you is that they can disappear just as unexpectedly.

The first day I met him I knew he was going to be something special to me. I don’t mean that it was love at first sight, but after one conversation with him I knew I was happy to be able to spend more time with him. After another conversation, I learned that he was everything I had been waiting for. My brother met him and the same afternoon asked if I was interested. I told my best friend that I had found the most perfect of guys in the most unexpected place. He was personable, funny, and kind. He was an athlete but also had a great love for music and could sing. He was tall and clean-cut and had the perfect angular, square jaw. He had the same religious beliefs as me, was intelligent and driven and even had a plan for his life. He was polite- a true gentleman- without being stuck-up or unapproachable. He looked in your eyes when you talked to him and laughed easily and was just as silly as me. When he talked about something he really loved you could see the excitement in his beautiful, crystal blue eyes. My friends thought I was just comparing him to some list in my head and told me a guy could be great on paper but not be that spectacular in person. Once they met him, they all agreed he was perfect for me and apologized for ever doubting that he was in actuality a great guy.

Girls all want summer romances like that of The Notebook or Grease. They want a guy to sweep them off their feet and experience that passionate whirlwind love. They want that love to then last a lifetime, whether their lover stayed by their side the whole time or pined for them as they went their separate ways, only to be reunited one fateful day. I was never about that, never believed that all reason should be thrown aside for someone you didn’t know five minutes before a chance encounter. Then I met him and was sure that we were different, that our chance encounter was fate acting in our lives. I read every coincidence as a reason we were meant to be together forever. I looked at our personality traits and preferences and favorite things and saw so much that was the same, with a good amount of different thrown in there to keep it interesting. We were a perfect balance, I thought, and brought out the best in one another. So I ignored the advice my old, pre-love self would have given to anyone in my situation. I didn’t take things slow or consider the practicality of the relationship or monitor my feelings.  I dove in heart first- and I ended up sinking in a shipwreck.

Sometimes you find the perfect guy- the one who plans dates without telling you the details, who gets along with your family and whose parents adore you, who tells you how amazing you are and makes you feel beautiful, who talks about serious things and cares for others, the one from the fairytales and the one you are supposed to be searching for. Sometimes you find that guy who isn’t a jerk, who is willing to make the first move, who does everything right and nothing wrong. But sometimes, it still doesn’t work out. Life gets in the way. Just because you find the guy that is the perfect combination of all things you want and all things you never knew you needed doesn’t mean that the relationship is meant to be one for the storybooks. Sometimes people come into your life and stay awhile, but sooner than you’d like resort to being a stranger who happens to know your favorite songs and which foods you don’t eat and all of your weird faces. And even if you can’t find reasons to hate him or hope keeps sneaking back trying to convince you maybe the timing just wasn’t right but the dramatic reunion is bound to happen one day, you have to take steps forward and walk away from it. You have to wrap up your happy memories and stuff them in the folder full of letters and pictures and put it away. All reason and logic will return and you’ll realize that the relationship wasn’t perfect. People will show you that there is other love in the world and you will be okay again.