Why We Don’t Like Discussing Falling Out Of Love


Maybe I’m being too simple when I say everything pretty much boils back down to love. The decisions we make, our insecurities, fears, unspoken desires. And that doesn’t necessarily mean romantic love — our world revolves around a lot of platonic and self-love, too.

But anyway you slice it, love is somehow popping up into the picture. It’s the root of it all.

So why don’t we talk about the process of falling out of love?

And this doesn’t just mean the heartbreaking “I thought I was going to spend eternity with this person, but now I…kind of…don’t want to” situation. Even smaller cases, perhaps you go to college dead-set on a specific major and, over time, find that you become drawn elsewhere. You slowly fall out of love with that thing you were absolutely positive about. It just happens. It’s an undeniable thing that we all experience.

At some point, you will fall out of love.

But we don’t really like to talk about it, do we? Because it’s uncomfortable and something that can have you rethinking everything. We prefer the beginning part. When given the choice, I’ll choose falling in love every damn time.

The falling, that’s the easy part. It’s romantic and beautiful, and we’re all kind of grossly obsessed with it. We’re scared and trying to protect hearts. We’re shouting from rooftops and texting our friends that we feel something really grand approaching. We’re tasting potential in kisses and trying to not freak out too much. But we’re freaking out. We’re freaking out a lot. We’re imagining vacations and introductions. It’s all so raw. It’s all so vivid. Falling in love is fun. There’s no denying it. As intense and unpredictable as it all might be, it’s fun. All that dopamine and euphoria.

The other, the falling out part, it’s not as enjoyable to talk about. I don’t know how it even happens. Sometimes it’s slow and you can’t even pinpoint how you got there. It just kind of drags along until it knocks on the door and finally says: “Babe, you’re done here.”

If falling in love is the Disney Princess, falling out of love is the realistic anti-hero. Not bad. Not good. Just there. Never given the same attention as the counterpart. The beginning. But just as valid. Just as much part of the process.

Trust me when I say, I really want to believe in falling in love and staying there. Always. But doesn’t everything that goes up come back down? Isn’t that what they say?