Why Women Generally Hate Other Women


I think we’re all familiar with the phrase “Women are so much crueler to each other than men.” Someone out there reading this right now might be thinking: “Hey! Never was I mean to anybody. You’re generalizing!” Indeed I am. Amidst all the awful things that are happening in the world we live in now, I still believe that out there are genuine, wonderful, kind-hearted, beautiful women. But that is not the point I want to make here. Good woman or not, I still can’t get over the fact that women generally hate women.

Any woman reading this right now would agree with me that at some point, they either became the bully or the bullied. Even if some of you won’t admit it. I myself have my share of bullied moments when I was in my high school days. I grew up always locking myself in my room, introverting like the introvert I truly am. I was awkwardly taller than most girls and I dressed funny – usually in my grandmother’s comfy grandma-esque coats, paired with a navy-blue uniform skirt, the length going to my ankles. I was the center of attention, mainly because oversized pink floral coats stood out amidst the then (and I believe, still is) trendy navy-blue denim hoodies.

I thought that if I tried to be less attractive or if I just kept my mouth shut, sat in the back corner of the classroom, and made sure I didn’t get in the way of the popular girls, I’d be safe from their collection of inappropriate and hurtful remarks. But the way I was made it easier for them to see and bully me.

The thing with us women is that we fight for approval, even if it means fighting each other. When we see something that we could feed to our starving egos, we sprint right to it and attack. But we are so engrossed with feeding and boosting our own egos that that we forget what we feed on – other women’s’ self esteem.

Seems like it’s okay to think that women getting catty with each other is natural. What’s the competition and fighting all about? What is the reason behind women hating on other women? It’s there, we’re just too scared to admit it.

It seems like success isn’t success without beauty and looks. We are threatened by the woman prettier, slimmer, and generally better than us.

It’s sounds petty and shallow but it’s the poignant truth. Clouded with insecurity and self-doubt, we try to hide it by secretly hating her or openly being cruel to her or just trying to be above her. Just think about the clichéd-ness of the situation. Yet why can’t we get over it?

I’m not saying that women with good looks are to blame or that they are at a loss here because that is not the point I’m trying to make. Nor am I justifying the actions of women who make other women’s’ lives miserable. The point is that when we finally accept beauty and the diversity and individuality of it, when we accept our flaws and magnify the things that make us worthy, loved, important, beautifully different, and when we level down physical looks on our list of “Things That Make Us Successful and Worthy” maybe then women would stop hating on each other and themselves.

Imagine the things women could do together if only they loved themselves more, if only society didn’t dictate the image of what beauty should look like, if only women were nicer to each other. If this were the case then you must agree with me, the world would be a greater place if it were run by women helping women!