Why You Need To Stop Dating a Checklist


Growing up watching fairy tales and Disney movies and then spending teenage sleepovers watching chick flicks and romcoms—what do you expect? Naturally, we’ll end up getting into the dating zone with nothing but a judgmental checklist. Yep, a long list of superficial traits we wish our future boyfriend could have. Great looks, amazing physique, beautiful eyes, the initiative to get you flowers every single date, complete knowledge on “how to be a gentleman”, the same beliefs as yours, date-planning abilities, cute gifts on anniversaries and birthdays, can make your siblings laugh, can charm your dad, gets your mom all excited for the future, doesn’t look at other girls, doesn’t do this, won’t do that. I could go on and on, and honestly, we can just keep on dreaming. But, honey, this isn’t Disney and you’re not a princess. Love is not a fairy tale and you can’t demand all these things when you go looking for love. When you look for love, you look for a partner — not a walking talking checklist. Remember this: he may not be perfect, but neither are you.

Demand respect, loyalty and love. Know what you deserve, but don’t make this just about you. He is only human and he needs the same amount of love and affection and understanding as you do. He must be as special to you as you are to him. Why expect him to call first, plan dates, get you gifts and do all those things all the time? When you are in a serious relationship, you need your partner, and he needs you, too. 

He will do his best to make you happy and earn your trust. He will check on you every now and then, and he will make sure you’re alright during those bad days. He will cook you food, or try at least. He will crack weird jokes and secretly wish you’d laugh. He will look at you and realize how lucky he is to have someone so precious. He will introduce you to his family and wish you’d like them just as much as he likes yours. He will wipe your tears and forgive you when you’re being such a brat. He will smile at you, kiss you on the forehead and wish that you love him just as much.

There will be times, though, that he might not be able to do all those things. He could lose his temper, or get impatient, or forget some important dates. He could say the wrong words, or even fall asleep. He might get preoccupied, busy or lazy at times. There will be days when nothing on your checklist seems to be valid, and nothing will make sense to you. So what do you do when this happens? Stop expecting so much and telling yourself how he can never mess up—because, honey, he will. He will mess up once, twice, quite a few times. He might hurt you unintentionally, but he will try to make things right again.

Sure, he’s got pain-in-the-ass moments, but don’t you realize that this guy is just like you? He has a checklist of his own. Have you forgotten that he looked past that, just so he could be with you—only YOU?

Feel free to dump your perfect walking talking checklist. There’s a man out there who already loves you for you.