Why You Should Chase Dreams, Not People


I can’t remember who it was that said it, but I can remember what was said: “Chase dreams, not people.” Perhaps it was a forgotten friend or an inebriated aunt at a dinner party, but either way, it stuck with me like glue.

Ever since I first heard those words, I’ve been living by them. As a result, I never try to force cupid’s arrow when there are no willing hearts, just as I allow the temporary people in my life to drift away when it’s their time to leave. I’ve learned to loosen my grip on all that I don’t have the right to keep. However, when it comes to my passions, the opposite is true. I was always taught to chase my dreams recklessly without any intention of forfeiting them.

I suspect the reason our dreams are considered an acceptable target, while the object of our affection is not, is because they’re less of a paradox. When we chase after a person, we are expecting to receive some sort of feeling such as security or happiness. Those feelings can easily be ripped away the second that person decides to leave, and then we are stranded, feeling empty again.

What we really should be doing is chasing after the version of ourselves that already is bursting at the seams with all those things we were looking for in a relationship.

Once we become that loved, happy, and secure human being all on our own, we are setting ourselves up to attract someone who can match those feelings. That’s why it’s perfectly acceptable to pursue our own bliss. We should be building empires, designing our own mobile apps, writing books, playing music, baking gourmet recipes, and traveling the world. We should be welcoming our evolution and magnifying our minds.

The bottom line is, we already have everything we could ever need to be happy and no other human on this planet could ever substitute that or suddenly make it appear out of thin air. Another person could add to a preexisting form of our happiness, but it won’t leave us any more fulfilled than we were before meeting them.

If we are meant to chase after our dreams in a full sprint, then why not do ourselves a favor and strive to do more of the things that bring us joy? Why not stop at nothing until we’ve turned those dreams into something tangible? Perhaps in doing so, we’ll be radiating so bright that our greatest love has no choice but to enter our lives with their own happy heart out on display.