Why You Should Stop Judging People Who Stay In Toxic Relationships

There are a lot of reasons why someone in a toxic relationship might have stayed for longer than they should have stayed — and although love is probably a part of it, a lot of the time there are just as many practical reasons as emotional reasons.

Someone might stay in a toxic relationship because they aren’t sure how they’re going to be able to support themselves with a single paycheck.

Someone might stay in a toxic relationship because they think they’re doing the best thing for their children — or because they’re worried they won’t get custody of their children if they leave.

Someone might stay in a toxic relationship because they recognize they’re going to lose so much more than their relationship. They’re also going to lose their home. They’re going to lose the friends and family members who choose their partner’s side. They’re going to lose a life that they spend years building.

You should stop judging people in toxic relationships because your judgement isn’t going to save them. It isn’t going to make them see reason. If anything, they need your support. They need your encouragement. They need you to be there for them, to remind them they’re strong enough to get out of their bad situation.

You should stop judging people in toxic relationships because they aren’t weak or stupid or helpless for staying. They’re in a complicated situation. The right answer might seem obvious to you because you’re watching from the outside, but even though they should leave, it’s not always easy to leave.

You should stop judging people in toxic relationships because you have no idea what they’re going through behind closed doors. They might be trying to get out of the situation right this moment. They might be secretly saving up money so they have enough to afford a hotel room in another town. They might be working with a lawyer to put paperwork through for a divorce. They might be fighting an internal battle with themselves each and every day, slowly trying to gain the energy to leave.

You should stop judging people in toxic relationships because it’s not their fault they fell for the wrong person. It’s not their fault they ended up in a bad situation. It’s not their fault they’re going through hell. It could just as easily happen to you.

You should stop judging people in toxic relationships because they probably aren’t as gullible as you think. They probably recognize they are in a bad situation and are trying to figure out which steps to take next. They are probably in the process of trying to figure out whether they should listen to their head, their heart, or their gut. They are probably (hopefully) going to find a way out soon.

You can feel bad for people in toxic relationships. You can encourage them to leave their toxic relationship. But don’t call them stupid for staying in their toxic relationship. Don’t judge them because they are already judging themselves enough.