12 Pieces Of Evidence That Show Goats Are Planning To Take Over The Human Race


1. A 2008 survey estimated that there are about 861 million goats in the world. That’s more than eight times the number of people living on the East Coast — 112,642,503 (36% of the US’s total population).

2. Goats can jump on average, 5 feet high. Some can jump higher than that. The world record for humans is 61″ — a little more than 5 feet high.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IuRzJRrRpQ&w=584&h=390]

3. It’s believed that goats discovered coffee. Without coffee, where would we be?

The myth of Kaldi the Ethiopian goatherd and his dancing goats, the coffee origin story most frequently encountered in Western literature, embellishes the credible tradition that the Sufi encounter with coffee occurred in Ethiopia, which lies just across the narrow passage of the Red Sea from Arabia’s western coast. – The World Of Coffee

4. Both male and female goats can have beards. All the better for them to conceal their identities.

5. Male goats have been known to lactate. That makes it even more difficult for people who want to milk goats.

6. Goats don’t actually eat tin cans or wash cloths. They’re grazing and they nibble on things to see if they are edible. Basically, they’re confusing us and getting us to let our guards down before they come at our jugular.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiVm6zmsGNE&w=584&h=390]

7. A healthy male goat can easily impregnate 20-40 females. The goat conquest of the world has been in the works since 10,000 BP.

8. Goats don’t have tear ducts. They will not shed a tear when they eliminate us swiftly and efficiently.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAXJmUqlnUw&w=584&h=390]

9. They have great balance, which is why you see goats on top of things (like cows) and just hanging out on sides of cliffs.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58-atNakMWw&w=584&h=390]

10. Goats have accents. This is probably the most frightening of all.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpccpglnNf0&w=584&h=390]

11. Goat eyes look like octopus eyes (or octopus eyes look like goat eyes or they have the same eyes) – they have rectangular pupils.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mu31o9zzHQs&w=584&h=390]

12. They are extremely curious and intelligent. Many farmers have been victims of goats exploiting a weakness in a fence over and over again. When one goat finds it, the entire herd learns it.