14 Women Describe How They Got Over Their Ex Once And For All


1. “Whatever you do, make sure that you unfriend them. I made the mistake once of not doing that and just as I was starting to feel better I saw his status update saying he was ‘in a relationship’. Of course it was with a girl I was friendly with too so I had to start getting over him all over again. Distance yourself from your ex!”

—Anne, 23

2. “For me it took months before I was ready to face up to just how bad the relationship had been. I was brought up in a very caring home and my parents constantly do things for one another to help out. I did lots of things like that for my boyfriend and couldn’t ever understand why he didn’t reciprocate and so I’d do even more and he still wouldn’t. Once I was able to face up to the fact that he was just a very self involved person instead of the ‘project’ I’d allowed him to be then I was able to get over him quickly.”

—Carmen, 26

3. “I’ve always found that facing your feelings as soon as possible is the only way to get over a bad breakup as soon as possible. For me, pretending that I don’t care or acting like it’s no big deal just prolongs the torture. I do this for a lot of things but putting together a list of pros and cons about my exes helps to see the relationship for what it was. There’s just something about seeing it right there in black and white that always helps me put things in perspective.”

—Erin, 24

4. “Listen to ‘Shake It Off’ until you’ve shaken it off. Last year this stupid song completely saved my life.”

—Jasmine, 29

5. “I immerse myself in nature when I’m experiencing a breakup. I’m very big into hiking and camping and I find that getting out and away from civilization quickly gives me a perspective you can’t get anywhere else. The exercise definitely helps too.”

—Dina, 24

6. “I moved to a completely different state. I did it for work but still the timing was perfect and I was able to get a whole new life. I don’t recommend you move just because of a breakup but getting a new start on your daily life with new habits and new surroundings will definitely make the bad feelings fade quicker.”

—Kristen, 27

7. “Honestly? I just hate them until I grow tired of it. Probably not healthy but it works every time for me. I don’t do psycho things but internally I’m a seething ball of rage.”

—Marie, 20

8. “Catch up on all your favorite shows until your eyeballs fall out. This will require pizza and a $5 bottle of red wine. Repeat as necessary until feelings of empowerment and self worth return.”

—Jennifer, 25

9. “Let go and understand that all things are temporary no matter how long they last. This is some knowledge I picked up from my mother after my first breakup in high school. Pretty heavy at the time but it’s aged well and makes more and more sense over the years. This doesn’t do away with the feelings of loss but it does remind you that the expectation that things are permanent is an illusion and always was. Then you have a choice about what to do next.”

—Nadia, 28

10. “Surround yourself with your friends that actually get out and do things, not the ones that just like to sit around and talk because they will talk about your situation constantly and be constantly talking about getting out there and dating again, etc. That’s just another form of obsessing. Go be around people who are doing things unrelated to relationships and wallowing.”

—Patricia, 24

11. “I think the notion that you ‘get over’ people you once loved intensely is bad one. I’ve had several breakups with people I care for deeply and I’ve never really gotten over them in the way most people seem to mean. I still think of each of them at different times and I still miss them sometimes and wonder how they’re doing. I think learning to live with these feelings is just a part of being a thinking and feeling human being on the planet Earth and isn’t anything you can avoid. Just be as graceful about it as you can. That’s all you can do, really.”

—Sally, 26

12. “Make out with the cutest guy at the bar. It really does help you feel alive and desirable again.”

—Ashley, 23

13. “Remember that it’s always time for a champagne-fueled brunch somewhere and act on that knowledge as often as possible.”

—Madison, 25

14. “My ex didn’t like a lot of things I like so when we broke up I made sure to do all the things that he didn’t like doing. It made me feel better and better realizing how much he was causing me to miss in the first place. I was completely better off without him.”

—Mia, 23