You Are An And Not A But


Your worth is not determined by someone else’s ability or inability to love you. Read that again. So many times we place our value in the hands of another person who can’t love you doesn’t know how to love you or just…won’t. We take our hearts outside of our chests and lay them out with such trust and naïve hope, we don’t give any regard to the fact, what if it isn’t reciprocated?

We see people giving the wrong people chance after chance when the good people are only asking for one. But I want you to know, what you are doing is brave. If anything is worth the risk, it is love. It isn’t stupid, it doesn’t make you ridiculous…it makes you so incredibly brave. And if that person takes your heart and breaks it or gives it back or holds on to it with no intention of keeping it, that has nothing to do with how deserving you are of the love you are asking for.

Just remember, you are an AND not a BUT.

You deserve someone who loves you AND wants to be with you AND can’t imagine their life without you AND will fight for you AND will do everything it takes to make it work AND never wants to lose you AND chooses you over AND over AND over again. What you are not, is a BUT. I think you’re great BUT I can’t love you BUT I don’t know how to love you BUT I won’t love you BUT I will make you think I do BUT it will never be you BUT I am okay without you BUT you are so stupid to ever think I could love you BUT that is your fault.

You are an AND. Find someone who makes you an AND.

You should never have to fight or beg for someone to love you or to choose you. If you have to do that, it isn’t real. If you have to convince them to be with you, they are not the one you are meant to be with. Someone who loves you will never need convincing because you are all they want. It was never a question. You were always the answer. They won’t make you think it is you when they have no intention of ever being with you. However, I want you to know…their inability to love you has nothing to do with your ability to be loved. You are so deserving and so worthy of all the love there is.

Maybe, and this is the heartbreaking part, it isn’t with the one you want. Maybe the person you choose doesn’t choose you. Maybe the one you love and would do anything for just doesn’t love you back. Harsh, yes. Can it happen? Unfortunately. But that isn’t your endgame. Please know that. Their love isn’t the best you can do. And you should be grateful it isn’t. No one deserves to be loved halfway.

Know your value. Know your worth. Understand you are priceless. Find someone who loves you at full price; not half off. The minute you allow someone to love you at less than you deserve is the moment you compromise yourself and your value. Stop. You are Gucci, baby. Get off the clearance rack.