You Are Worth More Than An Abusive Love
You are going to meet people or even be in ‘love’ with a person who doesn’t truly understand your soul.
This person will tell you over and over again that they do know you, when they do not. You will smile and nod but in your gut you will have a pain.
They will do everything in their power to make you see life through their eyes, in who, they believe you are. They will tell you what is right, what is wrong, and if you disagree you are stupid.
This person will tell you, you are weird and crazy and “everybody else thinks so, too” or that you do not know anything about life, that you write too much, that you talk too much, that you aren’t mature, that you open your heart like a diary for the world to read, How pathetic are you? Nobody cares about the art you share with the world.
You will have people make fun of you, who drain every little sunlight that flows through your veins, who bridged your heart to walk over the cliff to just get to the other side, in a selfish game of “I love you,” just kidding, love you not.
Emotional whiplash of I miss you’s, of I want you’s, of let’s fight for us, to have your face lit to the same messages of words being thrown to slowly pick you apart, as they take your petals and press them in-between pages of their sad story to save any kind of feeling of what unconditional love could be, if they could only return it…
You will have people who tell you, “Hey, I’m just being honest” in defense to their cruel opinion of your soul. Who believe that toughness, and meanness should be worn like a badge of honor in ways of scolding and putting you down with little needle pricks of insecurities you trusted to share with this person.
You will try to explain yourself, and defend your heart, and feel as if you have to convince this person. you will plead and try to make them hear your cries of why you hurt, why you weep. But they will just look at you puzzled unfazed by the words you speak…
This is not love.
The truth is you don’t have to defend yourself, you don’t have to convince anyone of anything, two sides to every story, but your heart knows the truth.
The right person will love you for every quirk, for the way you word things, will love you for every flaw, for your soul being 1,000 years old, or for being a free spirit:
they will love your anxieties, and your pain,
they will love you, for more than just skin,
they will love the darkest parts of you,
they will talk about what love means to them, and if they believe in past lives, this person will go beyond the surface of superficial talks, they will protect you and not be the reason to hurt you, purposefully.
You will never have to explain yourself to the right person. The wrong person you will feel exhausted, and depleted. You will feel the sunshine that once ran through your veins is a distant memory of “I remember whens….”
The right person, will take hold of your heart, and be proud of the person you are,
of your accomplishments, achievements,
of your setbacks, and heartbreaks,
they will stand next to you and let you shine like the star you are to the world. They will shower you with magic, never once making you feel you don’t deserve it, this person will take hold of your hand, kiss each bruise and scrape.
They will know that the world has enough hate, and hurt, and needs more connection and healing, how it needs more people to hear our stories not, dismiss the pages you have wrote.
This person will take your beautiful face,
will walk hand in hand with you in a beautiful garden
And pick flowers with you, not fights.
Before you finishing read this, before you answer the text they will send- ask yourself, does this person lift me up?
does this person believe in accepting you or ridiculing you?
You are worth more than a controlling, half filled person who tries to manipulate your kindness to make you believe they love you.
Love yourself, walk away.
The love you crave is out there –
do not settle.