You Loved Me Even When I Couldn’t Love Myself


I was once told that you have to love yourself before anybody can love you. And from that day, I remember thinking that I never stood a chance. For how could anybody ever love someone who could never love herself?

Before I met you, I was a flight risk who was scared of ever landing in case she crashed. I put up my walls so high that I could never remember what was in front of them, and I lived in an isolated castle of my worst fears.

And then you came crashing in, breaking every wall and every expectation I ever held. You made reality so much better than any fiction.

Everything I ever hated about myself, you helped me learn to love. My laugh wasn’t just an unnecessarily loud cackle, it was the sound of the happiness you gave me. My body wasn’t repulsive, it was the place where you held me and I felt at home. And my smile wasn’t uneven, it was the response to the love you so effortlessly gave to me.

Even on my worst days, when my hair was a mess and my eyes were tired, you saw me through the eyes of someone who could see nothing wrong with the girl in front of you. And whatever I ran from, whether it be anxiety, prejudice, or even myself, I always ran to you. I never thought I could ever find anyone who’d see me in any other way than the way I saw myself — every opinion I ever held against myself, you fought with your stubborn admiration and your incessant need to prove me wrong. I never liked being wrong until I met you. From every fight at 2 a.m. and every angry word I ever screamed but didn’t mean, you still saw the same girl you saw at the very beginning, and I saw you the same way — I think I always will.

For you loved a girl who thought she could never love herself. You proved her wrong and you made her whole. I love myself a little bit more everyday now because of you.

Thank you.